Tick Tock

They say everyone gets 15 minutes of fame. Mine are apparently over. Can you hear the tick ticking of the clock?

I did a cut and paste of my little blog about lettuce the other day on Cnn's Ireport site and mayhem ensued. Literally 1 minute after I posted it 34 people had viewed it. Press Refresh. 85 people viewed it. Press Refresh again...120 people. What the?

About an hour later I...little ol' me...gets a phone call from CNN!! They talked about ME on air!!! I'm famous. I was on the homepage of cnn.com all day.

I know. I'm a dork, but it is kind of cool to have all these people reading what I have to say! I mean I was voted "most newsiest"! I got messages from people asking how I got my report on air!

Two days later, I still rank as #2 for most read. Although I have apparently lost my lead to the apparent UFO siting over Phoenix. Stupid aliens!

But. Alas.

So far my $1.69 lettuce has received 10,170 views, 180 comments.

Take a look. Who knows how long I'll be left on there!

http://www.ireport.com/docs/DOC-13734

$1.69

I've been trying really really hard to not complain about the economy. After all, I am a commission sales rep and the media's incessant need to present an environment of doom and gloom does not, and I repeat does not, help my cause. Happy, secure clients spend money. Clients so fear struck that I have to pry them out of the fetal position DO NOT spend money.

Well, last night I reached my limit. I paid $1.69 for a head of iceberg lettuce. Yes, I know the price of milk, eggs and gas have been going up exponentially, but this just tipped me over the edge. Organic mixed greens? Fancy leafy greens? Those handy-dandy bags of pre-washed salad mixes? Sure. But, iceberg lettuce? I am outraged!

Alas. I bought it. And. It is tasted fucking good, sitting on my deck, eating the first grilled burger of the season.

Brown Paper Packages

I love getting packages in the mail. Pure bliss!!

They finally arrived; my two new pairs of shoes. I was in desperate need of shoes. You all know this.

I present to you the Teapot in black and the cheeky cherry red Operetta!

What has become of me?

I'm not exactly sure when it happened.
I think it was a slow evolution.
One minute I was one thing and then I became another.

What, you may ask have I become? I don't even know if I can put it into words...

You see, I was the girl who once was quoted saying, "Trees. Yeah, they kind of freak me out."
What ever happened to that person; complete urbanite, Concrete Jungle and all?

One day, as I was minding my own city slicker business, I met this guy. I called him "Nature Boy." I thought it was cute that he would hike around and knew all this weird stuff about bugs, and trees and other things you find out there...in the country.

Fast forward 4 years and where do I find myself? CABELAS!!

When did driving 20 minutes into the land of Suburbia become an acceptable Sunday romp? What happened to spending a Sunday afternoon with my nose pressed up to the Anthropologie windows wishing my size 16 ass would fit into their size 8 pants? What happened to thinking places like Woodbury were the country? What happened to being afraid of trees!!!!!

People!!!!!

I just bought a $200 GORE-TEX rain suite....TO GO FISHING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

My clothes used to be labeled with little tags that read"dry clean only." Now?
"GORE-TEX® laminate delivers unmatched breathable, waterproof and windproof qualities"

To further cement that I truly am currently experiencing an identity crisis I just booked a fishing trip for the above fore mentioned "Nature Boy's" birthday. In Missouri. The man on the other line just got done telling me that the wives who come down usually prefer to do their grocery shopping for the meals- they will be cooking- before they come down seeing as the nearest Wal Mart Super Center is about 20 minutes from the resort. The nearest restaurant is next to the Wal Mart!

Now lets just get one thing straight. Crankers does not do Wal Mart, and she certainly does not, nor will she ever do a Wal Mart Super Center!

So as a recap:
1. I own a mini van
2. I own an outfit made out of Gor-Tex
3. I own not 1, but 2 fishing poles
4. I own a tackle box, with a lot of stuff in it
5. I booked a hotel room with a kitchenette, in which I will be forced to cook meals in- ON MY VACATION!

All I can say is that I better catch a freaking fish...a big one. I may even stuff it and hang it on the wall!