R.I.P

My little grandma died last week. She fell and broke her hip two weeks ago.
I loved her. She was my favorite person on earth.

It is still kind of hard to talk about. It is weird you know? I feel ok about what happened- she was sick and frail and unhappy in her body.

I move through my day thinking about her and smile.
Then. Bam! The stupidest little thing can send me off into a crying fit.

The day after she died I was fine. Sad, but no tears. We where setting out some plates and glasses and snacks for the wake when all of a sudden a basket full of cookies just about knocked me on my ass. See, when she was well, she would have gone into the kitchen boiled some water in her little pan and made herself some tea. No fancy lavender infused loose leaf tea for her. No. She was a simple woman. Lipton was her favorite. She would have loved these cookies- they are great for dunkin'. She would have taken two and no more, but I would have gone into the kitchen and gotten her a third. I can see the little smile on her face now. I miss that smile. I still see it. She had this way about her. She would cock her head to the side and give you the smallest of smiles. It always made me want to say, "I love you, yiayia"

I'm afraid of forgetting that look. I'm afraid of forgetting how her hands looked.

I kind of got blind sided last night too. Walked into my house and it was gone. Her bed I mean. We had her hospital bed in the dining room. They came and took it back. I don't like having the dining room look like a dining room. Don't like it at all.

She's been put away.

Cherakouimou, se agapo. Se peithimo. Pote then tha se xihaso! - To koukourouisou. xoxo